February 9, 2013 Job to Aunt Patrice
Aunt Patrice,
1. Sure because my life story isn’t some happy-go-lucky fairy tale. Just can’t wrap my mind around why someone like you wants to hear such garbage. I do see it as a way for me to reflect, relive, and repent. I also believe that my highly enlightened, extremely revered Aunt Patrice will be able to help me with myself. If I can’t be completely honest with you then I don’t stand a chance standing before the Almighty. You’re so godlike!
2. Bipolar, split personality, narcissistic, misogynist, schizophrenic. Please, please just call me legion.
3. Do I believe women are fools and do I hate them? Absolutely NOT! I believe woman was God’s ultimate creation, the last and greatest of all His works. I see woman as man, that they are completely equals, any division between them is of the Devil. Sadly the majority of my life story has nothing to do with belief or thought and I developed a pattern of looking at women as sexual objects. Yes, I even think of you in that way.
4. Was Carrie a ministering angel? That was the whole point of the story. I was on the verge of suicide, real suicide. I was going to kill myself. Call her whatever you like. I think of her as an angel.
5. It’s just the way it happened, believe me Aunt Patrice, the last thing that was on my mind at the time was getting a blow job. I have no problems with taking full responsibility for my actions but in those fifteen minutes I really don’t remember saying anything. Yes, she went from talking about Jesus and college to something about how much she loves doing the itsy-bitsy spider. I asked, “What’s that?” and you know the rest of the story.
6. Why that story? I think it gives you a clear picture of what you’re in for, also what you’re asking of me. I don’t know how to write a book so I’ll just have to send you as many short stories as I can remember. NOTHING I send you will be exaggerated in the least way. NOTHING. Give it a story line or turn it into fiction, I don’t care how you do it. I trust you Aunt Patrice. I also really like the questioning please ask me anything that you think will be helpful.
7. Yes, I make rough drafts of my letters. I’m also somewhat dyslexic. Green is always orange and orange is always green. 69 is always 96. No foreplay that way. And if you tell me to turn to page 311 I’ll go straight to page 113. I always open up the back of every book, mag or newspaper first. It scares the shit out of me writing to you. I got a mental picture of you laughing at how stupid I am. Yes Ebonics is my native tongue, but I’ve been working really hard to fix that.
Listen I’m not proud of my life story. This is hard for me. I’ve written you many pages already and ended up tearing them all up and throwing them away. I don’t know if there are any tears in heaven but there are plenty of them here in prison. I lie awake at night wondering if this is a good idea if I can really be completely honest revealing everything about myself to you. Is it important to you to know everything there is to know? They say writing is good therapy and I want all the help I can get before I get out. I don’t want to be that guy I used to be but it would be impossible to tell my story without him.
Please help me with this before anything else. I think about having sex with you all the time. I’ve even given myself blue balls by refusing to masturbate to such imaginations. You make for such an erotic fantasy that I can barely contain myself. I’m wondering if this seed I’ve just planted will grow into a tree bearing much fruit. The Tree of Enlightenment and Darkness. Will you deny me of what is forbidden or will you hold it to my lips so that my eyes shall be opened?
Job
I did the same thing with Archie, but after apologizing, those types of thoughts came to a halt. I’m sorry Aunt Patrice!
1. Sure because my life story isn’t some happy-go-lucky fairy tale. Just can’t wrap my mind around why someone like you wants to hear such garbage. I do see it as a way for me to reflect, relive, and repent. I also believe that my highly enlightened, extremely revered Aunt Patrice will be able to help me with myself. If I can’t be completely honest with you then I don’t stand a chance standing before the Almighty. You’re so godlike!
2. Bipolar, split personality, narcissistic, misogynist, schizophrenic. Please, please just call me legion.
3. Do I believe women are fools and do I hate them? Absolutely NOT! I believe woman was God’s ultimate creation, the last and greatest of all His works. I see woman as man, that they are completely equals, any division between them is of the Devil. Sadly the majority of my life story has nothing to do with belief or thought and I developed a pattern of looking at women as sexual objects. Yes, I even think of you in that way.
4. Was Carrie a ministering angel? That was the whole point of the story. I was on the verge of suicide, real suicide. I was going to kill myself. Call her whatever you like. I think of her as an angel.
5. It’s just the way it happened, believe me Aunt Patrice, the last thing that was on my mind at the time was getting a blow job. I have no problems with taking full responsibility for my actions but in those fifteen minutes I really don’t remember saying anything. Yes, she went from talking about Jesus and college to something about how much she loves doing the itsy-bitsy spider. I asked, “What’s that?” and you know the rest of the story.
6. Why that story? I think it gives you a clear picture of what you’re in for, also what you’re asking of me. I don’t know how to write a book so I’ll just have to send you as many short stories as I can remember. NOTHING I send you will be exaggerated in the least way. NOTHING. Give it a story line or turn it into fiction, I don’t care how you do it. I trust you Aunt Patrice. I also really like the questioning please ask me anything that you think will be helpful.
7. Yes, I make rough drafts of my letters. I’m also somewhat dyslexic. Green is always orange and orange is always green. 69 is always 96. No foreplay that way. And if you tell me to turn to page 311 I’ll go straight to page 113. I always open up the back of every book, mag or newspaper first. It scares the shit out of me writing to you. I got a mental picture of you laughing at how stupid I am. Yes Ebonics is my native tongue, but I’ve been working really hard to fix that.
Listen I’m not proud of my life story. This is hard for me. I’ve written you many pages already and ended up tearing them all up and throwing them away. I don’t know if there are any tears in heaven but there are plenty of them here in prison. I lie awake at night wondering if this is a good idea if I can really be completely honest revealing everything about myself to you. Is it important to you to know everything there is to know? They say writing is good therapy and I want all the help I can get before I get out. I don’t want to be that guy I used to be but it would be impossible to tell my story without him.
Please help me with this before anything else. I think about having sex with you all the time. I’ve even given myself blue balls by refusing to masturbate to such imaginations. You make for such an erotic fantasy that I can barely contain myself. I’m wondering if this seed I’ve just planted will grow into a tree bearing much fruit. The Tree of Enlightenment and Darkness. Will you deny me of what is forbidden or will you hold it to my lips so that my eyes shall be opened?
Job
I did the same thing with Archie, but after apologizing, those types of thoughts came to a halt. I’m sorry Aunt Patrice!
Looka there, you’re still so fair
Even without no brows or hair.
Beautiful lips and button nose,
A face so pretty it actually glows.
Dark chocolate brown eyes expressing sweet intellect,
You’re just as attractive as you are intelligent.
I’m no gambling man but willing to bet
I’d fall in love if we had ever met.
Excuse me Ms. No Brows or hair,
I thought I’d tell you why people stare.
Even without no brows or hair.
Beautiful lips and button nose,
A face so pretty it actually glows.
Dark chocolate brown eyes expressing sweet intellect,
You’re just as attractive as you are intelligent.
I’m no gambling man but willing to bet
I’d fall in love if we had ever met.
Excuse me Ms. No Brows or hair,
I thought I’d tell you why people stare.
