February 6, 2013 Job to Aunt Patrice
Aunt Patrice,
Sweety, I don’t care if you’re an atheist and honestly doubt God gives two shits either. The article was insightful but the last thing I need is for Science News to be telling me that I’m psychotic (if I only had a nickel). I’m sorry about my mother and sister’s disdain towards nonbelievers but please don’t allow their identities to offend you. Remember you’ve chosen enlightenment over darkness. Also don’t allow atheism to become your identity. The whole I’m right, you’re wrong thing is so egoic. Really should be way too condescending for an erudite.
I never said anything to my mother but I did mention something to my sister about getting me that Joseph Smith book. Molly e-mailed me back and said, “I’m not buying you that crap.” They are so silly. It’s comical. How can you get mad at them? If it causes problems for you then I promise not to talk about us to them any more. Don’t worry, Aunt Patrice, I’m no kiss & tell. How are you feeling, by the way? Did you get your results back from the biopsy? I pray for you every night although I know you would tell me to knock it off. I laugh to myself about it sometimes. I love you!
My father? I’ve always known that about him. I’ve been hearing about the Elizabeth stuff since I can remember. The girl’s clothes and makeup, now that’s a shocker, although it sounds fun! Do you think that you and Aunt Diana could maybe like... Uh... Never mind.
Yes, you’re absolutely right. Us boys were raised like pit bull terriers, fleas included. My parents were very abusive but it’s okay. They thought they knew what they were doing as do most kids. My very first memory of my father: us kids were all in the back bedroom of our trailer house, arguing over a puppy. I guess we were too loud so he kicked the door open and snatched the puppy out of our hands. In one hand he had our puppy and in the other one of his big super sharp buck knives. He was yelling telling us that he was going to cut the puppy up into pieces so we could all play with him. He was mad as hell, spit flying from his mouth with every word, veins bulging out of his neck and arms. It only made things worse because we all just started crying at the top of our lungs, “Don’t hurt the puppy!” Now I wish I would have cried, “I want the head!” Years later I would pull the exact same shit on my wife, threatening to cut our baby out of her stomach. Years later he started crying because he had to sleep alone in his new room for the first time. I bust thru the door and whipped his 2 year old ass. My wife was horrified and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t understand why! I remember thinking to myself, “What the fuck is wrong with her?” Tears fill my eyes as I write this, had to stop to wipe away the tears with my shirt.
Love,
Job
Why is the pain so real?
Sweety, I don’t care if you’re an atheist and honestly doubt God gives two shits either. The article was insightful but the last thing I need is for Science News to be telling me that I’m psychotic (if I only had a nickel). I’m sorry about my mother and sister’s disdain towards nonbelievers but please don’t allow their identities to offend you. Remember you’ve chosen enlightenment over darkness. Also don’t allow atheism to become your identity. The whole I’m right, you’re wrong thing is so egoic. Really should be way too condescending for an erudite.
I never said anything to my mother but I did mention something to my sister about getting me that Joseph Smith book. Molly e-mailed me back and said, “I’m not buying you that crap.” They are so silly. It’s comical. How can you get mad at them? If it causes problems for you then I promise not to talk about us to them any more. Don’t worry, Aunt Patrice, I’m no kiss & tell. How are you feeling, by the way? Did you get your results back from the biopsy? I pray for you every night although I know you would tell me to knock it off. I laugh to myself about it sometimes. I love you!
My father? I’ve always known that about him. I’ve been hearing about the Elizabeth stuff since I can remember. The girl’s clothes and makeup, now that’s a shocker, although it sounds fun! Do you think that you and Aunt Diana could maybe like... Uh... Never mind.
Yes, you’re absolutely right. Us boys were raised like pit bull terriers, fleas included. My parents were very abusive but it’s okay. They thought they knew what they were doing as do most kids. My very first memory of my father: us kids were all in the back bedroom of our trailer house, arguing over a puppy. I guess we were too loud so he kicked the door open and snatched the puppy out of our hands. In one hand he had our puppy and in the other one of his big super sharp buck knives. He was yelling telling us that he was going to cut the puppy up into pieces so we could all play with him. He was mad as hell, spit flying from his mouth with every word, veins bulging out of his neck and arms. It only made things worse because we all just started crying at the top of our lungs, “Don’t hurt the puppy!” Now I wish I would have cried, “I want the head!” Years later I would pull the exact same shit on my wife, threatening to cut our baby out of her stomach. Years later he started crying because he had to sleep alone in his new room for the first time. I bust thru the door and whipped his 2 year old ass. My wife was horrified and I didn’t understand why. I didn’t understand why! I remember thinking to myself, “What the fuck is wrong with her?” Tears fill my eyes as I write this, had to stop to wipe away the tears with my shirt.
Love,
Job
Why is the pain so real?
I’m encircled by hearts leaving swirls of tiny red dots.
This strange feeling comes over me and I like it a lot.
Can this be for real? Did you break thru my forcefield,
Penetrating my heart with cupid’s flaming arrow of steel?
A burning sensation that deserves a standing ovation
You must have a first class education in heart amelioration.
From a rope my body dangles my whole life I have been strangled.
What is your angle in undoing these chains that entangle?
Do you have an ace up your sleeve? Am I being deceived?
It’s hard to believe that you are paying attention to me.
Is it all in my head? Am I being misled?
Tossing & turning at night from analyzing your letters I’ve read.
You talk about love and kisses and stuff.
Could a ball and chain be made out of these shackles and cuffs?
Or is this just another one of ole Lucifer’s tricks
To cause me more pain and grief in this bitch?
How long can it last? Will time cause this bridge to collapse?
Winding me back up into the chains you’ve unlatched?
Feeling the red slowly fade back to blue
Dragging me back to that grave I once knew.
Regardless the outcome of a venomous kiss,
At least I felt loved for that one brief moment.
This strange feeling comes over me and I like it a lot.
Can this be for real? Did you break thru my forcefield,
Penetrating my heart with cupid’s flaming arrow of steel?
A burning sensation that deserves a standing ovation
You must have a first class education in heart amelioration.
From a rope my body dangles my whole life I have been strangled.
What is your angle in undoing these chains that entangle?
Do you have an ace up your sleeve? Am I being deceived?
It’s hard to believe that you are paying attention to me.
Is it all in my head? Am I being misled?
Tossing & turning at night from analyzing your letters I’ve read.
You talk about love and kisses and stuff.
Could a ball and chain be made out of these shackles and cuffs?
Or is this just another one of ole Lucifer’s tricks
To cause me more pain and grief in this bitch?
How long can it last? Will time cause this bridge to collapse?
Winding me back up into the chains you’ve unlatched?
Feeling the red slowly fade back to blue
Dragging me back to that grave I once knew.
Regardless the outcome of a venomous kiss,
At least I felt loved for that one brief moment.
